dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
