you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize