when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
