just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
