Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
