Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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