Fine. I'll sleep in my office
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Randomize
