i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
