who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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