Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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