Its about making memories worth repressing
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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