Only a mothe r could love this liver
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
