My room smells like vodka and shame
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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