I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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