just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
