Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
