It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
