I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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