i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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