i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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