It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
