I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
