Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
