This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
