i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
