I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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