my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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