i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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