i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
