uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
