I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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