PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
