If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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