I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
