I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
