You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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