my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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