I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
