Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
