I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
