So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
