Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
