DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
