like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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