David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
