my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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