i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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