Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
