YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
