Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
