I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
