i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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