went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize