we have officially lost it.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
