WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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