I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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