somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
