Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
