four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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