He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
